Dealing with the changes I see in my mum and coming to terms with it is not easy.
My mum is 73 years old, and her recent stroke recurrence changed her temperaments; from being warm, gentle and kind to someone fierce and nasty. It mostly starts with a denial that she has eaten and ending up in quarrels with hurtful exchanges in between. My sister and I call these exchanges, ‘mummy moments’ and we would always end up in tears.
My family and I had a hard time adapting to this change, knowing that she will never be who she was before. We can choose to continue to fight this exhausting battle and risk affecting all of our emotional health or learn to let go.
Letting go takes strength and courage; recognising that we all go through the different stages of life; from birth to old age, sickness and death. Why fight something that is beyond our control? What good is there when you react towards her behaviours? Will it make the situation better?
Up until now, I am still learning to let go. When she gives a glare or a nasty comment, I would remember how she was in the past and remind myself that it is her medical condition and old age that is talking.
I have learnt to choose my battles wisely.
“After all, we do not measure life by the number of times we stood to fight. It is not winning battles that make you happy, but it is how many times we have turned away and chose to look into a better direction.” – C. Joybell C.
And in our case, instead of insisting on what mum should do and assume that it is going to be the best for her, we chose to take care of her mental and emotional well-being first.
We chose happiness over tension and misery.
